Dear older brother,
its been quite some time since I last wrote a letter to you like this. Well anyway, I wanted to write this to you. It's been a long time and Ive wondered if you've been thinking the same? I know we haven't gotten the chance to talk, but I know your there for me. It would be nice if you had hung around a little longer at home... but I know that wasn't your choice per say. You allowed me to have this wonderful home and maybe our little bro too
we used to talk about you a lot. Believe it or not, although you probably already know, that we always wanted you to come back. It amazes me that as children we knew you were supposed to be there. How foolish we were too dream of you becoming part of our family, the brother we had missed. The one we wanted to wrestle with us, teach us what you learned, warn us of approaching homework. That was our dream.
But dreams are often shattered, aren't they big brother? For years we went to this strange place. Always silent, but I was too little to see clearly out of the car window. Not that it mattered. Only dad got out and soon came back, while mom just sat there. She never talked when we 'visited' and I didn't understand. Then dad told us at our small age. Something that is quite hard to comprehend, but I guess we always knew we would never get our 'big brother'.
I always wonder, if you chose to left? No probably not, but I wish you had stayed. I feel like I carry your legacy, no not legacy, your expectations. You left mom and dad trying so hard for a second child. You loved them, I know that, and I think that's why you may have watched me even then? Did you smile, when I was sent to them? What about our little brother? I was always lonely before him... so maybe you knew? if that's the case then thank you. I know I wont be able to see you this year either but I have one last thing to say. You know how mom used to make you a cake on your birthday? well i'm not quite that prepared and I won't ask her to make one, case who could enjoy a cake knowing someone cried while making it? Too salty for my taste.... So I guess it's not much but... Happy Sweet Sixteen, I miss you bro but I also love you. Looks like it'll just be me and you at the grave this year, don't worry Ill bring you something nice
flowers maybe? Rest in Peace and I hope we can celebrate another year as a family soon.